You’re Waiting For A Train (Part I)

Waiting is so easy and fun!! Said no one ever…

Seriously, waiting on God is tough.

Waiting is especially difficult in today’s’ culture of fast paced schedules and immediate gratification. The art of enjoying life’s little things has been lost and taking time to relax is unheard of. In fact, if you do NOT have a five year plan, you are NOT in a serious relationship and you are NOT meeting societal standards at all times, you must be a failure.

And since God wasn’t giving me clear direction, I filled in the blanks myself. Forget His plan, I’ll just make my own.

So that’s what I tried to do.

Keyword – TRIED.

Fortunately for me, my plans imploded on top of me, and I was finally forced to stop. This lead to a challenging period of waiting for about two years after graduating college. I wanted to do God’s will, but wasn’t sure what that was, or how to figure it out. I was desperate for a message, a sign, ANYTHING showing me my next step. Moses got a burning bush, couldn’t God spare one minute to light a palm tree up for me?!

I had moments when I cried myself to sleep…I had moments when I felt so much physical tension I had to stifle a scream. Moments when I was ANGRY, I’m talking like- attack a target with my crossbow- ANGRY.

I remember quickly reading through a passage one morning (a verse I’ve read many times) but this time it sunk in. Psalm 46:10 says “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” I felt like God had just punched me in the face (trust me I deserved it!) I heard Him say “stop trying to control everything down there! I AM GOD, just trust me and you will be taken care of.” Here is a God who loved me enough to die for me, why was I so afraid to hand control over to Him? He’s already proven His desire to want the very best for me…far better than I deserve. So I obeyed for the first time in a long time and finally I became still, and knew that He was God.

Although difficult, this time has been one of the most rewarding, enriching, and fulfilling times of my life. Through it I have grown in many different areas including friendships, relationships, spiritually and personally. I have more confidence now than I’ve ever had, and I have found a completeness that is only possible with having an identity that begins and ends with God.

I have learned a lot too, and I’m bursting to share it with you! Stay tuned for my next post on why periods of waiting are not only important for healthy living in the present, but CRUCIAL to moving forward.