Ok confession time. I need to be real honest for a minute and admit that since I signed up for the Race, it hasn’t exactly been a worry-free time of trailing butterflies through meadows and dancing barefoot in the rain (although how awesome does that sound for real?). Contrary to what people think, I have NOT been counting down the days until I leave everything I’ve ever known behind.

PLEASE don’t misunderstand me, I know this is God’s will for me. In fact, I have never been more sure of anything in my life, and I have no doubt that this experience will forever change me for the better. That is AWESOME TO ME!

But here’s the problem, I LOVE my life (which is a great problem to have I know!!) However, it IS a problem in that it causes me apprehension as the Race continues to get closer. I applied to the Race at a particularly low time in my life. I was lonely, lost and searching for meaning and satisfaction. I was desperate to know God in a more personal way. As I continued seeking a relationship with Him, He suddenly revealed my next step. THE. WORLD. RACE.

After making that commitment however, I began to look around and understand how fortunate I truly am. I realized how much I love going to work every day because the people there are my family and we have so much fun together. I have the most incredible friends and I can’t imagine doing life without them for an entire year. My family and I have a great relationship and I have the sweetest dog. I’m happy! So oh crap, I suddenly wondered, “what have I done?” Quickly my excitement was overshadowed by regret, and then fear...

I felt God whisper to me, “this is what it really means to sacrifice. Following me shouldn’t be the easy way out, but I promise it will be the best way for you.” So I took a deep breath and decided to trust Him, even when it scares me. Especially when it scares me.

Earlier this month, I was in Atlanta at Passion, a Christian convention for young adults. I cannot begin to describe how God used this time to work on my heart. Throughout the weekend, every moment seemed to weave together for an incredibly personal experience with Him.

Out of the many things I learned, one thing that particularly stood out to me was this idea that there is a difference between weight and sin. Sometimes, you have to cut the weight (even when it is good) if it is keeping you from doing God’s will. Because not all “good” things are “God” things. Ok, so...MIND BLOWN! As much as I love my life right now, it is only a chapter in a much greater story. I understand so much better that the greatest achievement we can have on this earth is to be His servant, and I feel incredibly humbled that God thinks I’m worthy of teaching others about Him. (You can watch the full message by Christine Caine here.)

So this is my confession; I am doing the World Race and I’m terrified. But I’m not doing it alone. As comfortable as I have become under all this weight, I won’t get very far tied down. I will happily cut the ropes knowing He is in control. For without them holding me down, I know I can fly.

Isaiah 40:31 “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”