It started with a seashell.
The day before leaving for the World Race, my good friend John handed me a small shell with the word BELOVED written in dark marker, a sharp contrast to the smooth white surface of the shell. He said I could use it to remember my home and the Florida beaches I was leaving behind, a constant reminder that I am God’s beloved.
Fast forward to our first debrief in Colombia after a month on the field. As our entire squad sits in silence trying to listen to Holy Spirit, I hear a single word echo in my mind, “Beloved.”
I didn’t feel like that message was for me so I continued sitting there, questioning what God wanted me to know. “What else can you give me? I need something more..” After a few minutes of nothing, a deep love for my squad takes over my heart. Feeling like I missed the message, I switch gears and begin praying for the other racers and leaders, one by one. I count them on my fingers and I pray for them by name.
Afterwards Chris asks us if we have anything to share. Feeling like I failed in my distraction from listening to the Lord, I sit in silence. One of my teammates speaks out that he feels God pulling out the lie that he is unworthy of being loved. Chris says to the room, “who in here also feels they are unworthy of love?” 75% of my beautiful squad members raise their hands.
And that’s when it clicked. The word Beloved was meant for them, my incredible tribe. Understanding what God meant, I spoke up and said that God had overwhelmed me with His love for them while we sat there together, bringing each of them to my mind. He knows them by name and He wants them to know they are His Beloved.
At training camp, we nicknamed ourselves the “Love Squad.” But as wonderful as we are at loving on others, we are pretty bad at loving ourselves. I think that’s an accurate reflection of the majority of people in this world. Jesus says to love your neighbor as yourself, (Mark 12:31) but what if the problem isn’t that we don’t love our neighbors? What if the problem is that we just don’t love ourselves? How do we model something we don’t truly understand? In the same way we try to love God with all our heart, soul and mind; but our hearts are broken, our souls are searching, our minds are tortured. What’s left for God?
God has impressed upon my heart the purpose to break the powerful and relentless lie that people are unworthy of His love, or anyone’s love for that matter. We have to remember that God doesn’t love us IN SPITE of our sin, He loves us IN THE MIDST of our sin. We make mistakes, many mistakes. Sometimes it’s the same one over and over again, sometimes they’re different. None are better or worse, they just are. And that’s ok. Stop trying to earn something that’s already been given to you. Break the earthly misconception that we must owe Him something in return. Whether we choose to accept His invitation or not, it’s there. It’s not going away. Ever.
It’s true we did absolutely NOTHING to deserve a life with Christ, but that’s the thing about grace…it just is, even when we don’t understand it. I know the world is messy, it’s manipulative and selfish and full of corruption and deceit. BUT GOD IS NOT OF THIS WORLD. He’s not trying to trick you. He doesn’t gain anything from you. He’s not trying to fix you, condemn you or judge you. He wants to meet you right where you are, AS YOU ARE. In all of your shame, guilt, sadness, fear and sin. He wants to meet you in your brokenness and journey with you. He wants to offer you a life of unabandoned joy and freedom. He wants to pick you up, dry your tears and remind you that you are forever, unconditionally, boundlessly loved.
So stop resisting Him. Let your walls and suspicions fall away. Trust Him for what He is…LOVE. Love as it was originally designed. Love as it should be.
My little seashell is a perfect reminder of what it means to be His. It seems ordinary on its own, and looking across a sandy beach it’s easily lost in the wide expanse of sand and water. But if you look carefully, you will find that God has picked each shell up, one by one, and on the inside He has written a personal message for us to see. Not only are we His, we are HIS BELOVED.
You heard the Holy Spirit loud and clear and wrote what happened with such depth of emotion and clarity. The Holy Spirit revealed to you what was “missing” in your group – really as individuals, and yes, it is a common problem among so many of us. I’m thankful you spoke up and revealed what the Holy Spirit had given you. It helped your group, I’m sure, and many of us out here following your blog. Love you.
Molly
What a beautiful post. Thank you for reminding me that I am loved just as I am and thank you for communicating this message to so many others who need to hear it!
Thank you for this amazing post!!