Not Barbie Savior

This Christmas there is only one thing on my wish list, but before I tell you what I want, let me tell you what I’ve seen.

After singing a few songs and praying for people we stand around with our host as he tells us more of their ministry in Belem and why they continue to go there and build relationships. He points to the square in the middle of the yard. There’s what looks like a wooden pen for animals built there. It’s small, maybe 3 feet wide and 6 feet long, with a huge, solid looking door. He explains that women are kept inside and sold to the men for 1 sols each (that’s about 30 cents). A child stands on a deck right beside this square pen, this place is his home. Children like this little boy grow up seeing drug deals, prostitution, and abuse so often it has become normal.

I laugh as my teammates and I stumble in the clay. We are having a blast playing a game of volleyball at the Safehouse, a transitional home for men who are recovering addicts. Halfway through it begins to rain and we are giddy with the refreshing drop in temperature, the men are getting a kick out of watching us screaming and laughing together.

My heart aches as I squeeze this little girl as hard as I can, trying to convey all my love through my arms to surpass the frustrating language barrier. I pray that God will protect her and take care of her, I whisper that God loves her, that I love her. I watch her take her little brother’s hand in hers and lead him back to their home.

Photo by Chelsea Van Eck

Not going to lie, short term mission work can be discouraging. It’s hard feeling like the typical white American “Christian” all the time. Coming into the midst of a terrible situation and telling people Jesus loves them even though they live among dogs and garbage. To tell children they are special even though they are being molested and abused every day. To encourage someone who is heavily addicted to drugs like I have any kind of idea of the pain they are trying to forget. Then I take some pictures and I leave…

Children ask me when I’m coming back and I lie and say I don’t know..when I know very well I will never see their faces again.

Photo by Raychel Lotspeich 

As tough as this experience has been so far it also gives me so much hope. Every time we move on we begin working with a new organization. A ministry that works long term in the area and is making an incredible impact. I get to work alongside amazing missionaries and pastors who poor into and encourage me daily. I get to spend my time learning and growing and I feel the layers I’ve spent my life hiding behind being pulled back to reveal the person I’m meant to be. Although I can’t stay for long, I know that God can make even the smallest moments like a smile or a “Jesus loves you” “you are special” into something so much bigger. I get to see how God is moving all across South America and I’m witnessing first hand the generation He is building to drastically change ministry and the modern church. I thank God every day for allowing me to be a part of it. Every broken place that I see, every discouraged person I meet, I’m reminded that I have a gift for loving people and encouraging them. Meeting people where they are and showing them all that God offers them.

I hate to admit it..but I AM a typical American girl, blessed beyond all comprehension and understanding. The things I throw away would give these children so much joy. The money I’ve wasted on things I don’t need, could feed entire families for days. The opportunities I take advantage of such as freedom and education, are concepts these people dream of to forever take them out of their destitution and poverty.

However, I’m not Barbie Savior…

Photo by Chelsea Van Eck

I’m Barbie SAVED.

I’m not swooping in to rescue these people, not at all.
I’m a messenger sent by the ONE who can.

I stare at these children, at these drug addicts and prostitutes, pregnant teens and homeless people, and have nothing to give them. No money, no clothes or stuffed animals, no way out, nothing…

Except for the one and only thing that really matters..

There is ONE God.
One Jesus.
Who loves.
Who offers freedom and joy.
Offers a light in the midst of total darkness.

It’s so humbling to stand there, holding a child in your arms, feeling the desperation in their grip as they hold you like they never want to let go. I know that I personally have nothing to offer them, but God offers them everything they need, so I tell them about Him, pray for them and give them over to God.

I have to swallow my pride and trust that He will use me.
That the pictures I take will affect and inspire people who can help.
That the words I write will encourage people who can’t be on the field.
That the stories I tell will benefit the long term missionaries we partner with so they can continue to do their work.
That the people I meet will teach me so I can forever live a lifestyle that reflects a wholly devoted follower of Jesus.
That even when I can do NOTHING, I know that He can do EVERYTHING.

I’ve learned so much already and I want nothing else but to continue learning and impacting others on the World Race. I totally trust that the money will come, but faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26), so I have to be honest and admit that I need help. It’s awkward, embarrassing and frustrating. I’m asking now, please prayerfully consider helping me become fully funded.
I still need two thousand more, and I can’t do it alone. I want to continue on with this journey, and solidifying that would be the ultimate gift this year. Any amount helps! And if you can’t say a prayer for me and please share, share, share to help me get the word out!

Learning. Growing. Exploring. Teaching. Being challenged. Challenging others. Laughing. Crying. Discovering. Trusting. Following. Serving. Loving.

Completing the World Race. Finishing what I started. Beginning all He has in store for me.

Matthew 28:19, it’s all I want for Christmas.

**Thank you for all your support spiritually, financially, and emotionally! I’m so thankful for all of you who have invested in my journey in so many different ways!

**Special thanks to Mision Cristiana Family and Kids for an incredible time of ministry