That’s My Sweetheart In There, I’m Not Leaving Her

She would barely make eye contact with me, barely lift her gaze up from the ground. Her demeanor was broken, her shoulders were hunched. Suddenly, I stopped rambling about my trip and felt a boldness take over. I put my hand on her arm and looked her in the eyes and said, “God loves you so much. He wants you to know that you are special and you are unique. That you are a good mom. That you are worthy of His love.”

As we left our leader Jason said to me, “That was it! You were speaking words to her that I felt God saying she needed to hear. That was directly from the Holy Spirit.”

As we walked through La Boquilla, a poor village sitting on the sandy beaches in Colombia, we went door to door talking to people about Jesus and handing out bibles. We’ve learned by now that we can be asked to do anything at anytime and today was no exception. We sit down on the porch and Jason says, “you’re the preacher, preach.”
Um ok. So I preached, a little hesitantly at first but by the second house I found a rhythm that allowed me to make connections with people in no time.
Many of the women in this town are prostitutes and the young woman in the story above already had fifteen children. She looked at the world through empty, haunted eyes. Eyes that saw herself as stupid, ugly, useless and unloved.

Besides evangelism, our ministry with Justice for the Nations included a demonstration in the bustling city of Cartagena to raise awareness for human trafficking. I volunteered to be one of the actors dressed as a victim to attract people and questions.

As my teammate tied the cloth around my face and everything went dark, It began to sink in. 

This happens every day. People tempt and lie and manipulate others to take them and use them. Those who are respected and trusted betray other human beings for personal gain. Innocents are stolen from their families and friends. Their freedom, their very lives are taken away…in an instant.

I felt God ask me to fully submit to Him, to relinquish my freedom to stand on my own two feet and lay directly on the ground. I flat out refused to degrade myself any more. Can’t I just have an ounce of pride left? The more He pushed the more I resisted, and with 15 minutes left and tears in my eyes I finally relented and got down on the ground. I felt like an animal lying in the dirt. Like an object for sale in the marketplace. I said, “ok God what are you trying to teach me in this moment?” I heard a simple message repeating on a loop,

“they aren’t animals, they are my children, I love them. They aren’t dirty, they are my children, I love them. They aren’t objects, they are my children, I love them.

I felt an overpowering wave of compassion and desire and desperation and hurt. In that instant I felt my heart break for what breaks His. It was only a moment, but I will never forget the weight and emotion I felt. If I HAD been standing I would’ve fallen over.

Yah.. I’ll be the first to admit, the image above is creepy. I look creepy. But want to know the creepiest part? As soon as my face was covered it was like I no longer existed. People stopped talking to me, stayed away from me, stopped treating me like I was a person. I could see figures through the cloth and hear talking, but no one acknowledged me. Everyone was so cheery and chatty around me, going about their lives as if I wasn’t even there. That was scary to me, especially since I’m guilty of doing the same thing. It’s easy to ignore the problem when you can’t see the faces. Can’t look into their eyes, hear their fears, goals, and dreams. 

But with God there is hope to every story, even the darkest ones. I know God is preparing my heart for further work with prostitutes and sex trafficking victims. Whether just for this year or for the rest of my life I’m not sure. To be 100% honest I’m not totally thrilled about it either. It makes me uncomfortable, it scares me, it overwhelms me with nausea and emotion. But God has not forgotten these people. God loves these people. So I love them too. I will continue seeking them out and looking them in the eyes and telling them they are important and wonderful and bright and special. That God loves them so much He sent me from the other side of the world to give them that message. He loves them so much He sent His son to die for them so He could spend eternity with them. I may not be able to free them from their bonds, but I CAN tell them about the God who can. I CAN be a voice for them when the world is deaf to their cries, and a face for them when the world is blind to their tears.

So that’s what I’m doing. I’m learning and I’m becoming more confident and bold and I am beyond thrilled to say, as we left that young woman’s home in La Boquilla, the woman who believes she’s invisible, I saw the corner of her mouth gently lift to one side. A smile filled with hope at the God who sees her, the God who hears her, the God who loves her.