When Kindness Is A Chore

Oct. 28th, 2017

During our morning bible study we were each given a fruit of the spirit to intentionally seek out during the day. I’m relieved when I get “kindness”, thinking to myself “it comes pretty naturally for me to be kind, this will be a piece of cake.”

More like PIE. A heaping scoop of humble pie to be exact.

Throughout the day my exhaustion and need to be alone felt stronger than ever. Everywhere I looked there were people, my head swarmed with frustration and annoyance. Each time I tried to find refuge, a new task came up, mundane things like cleaning and finances and research…
And Duaa.
To be clear Duaa is not an item to be checked off a “to do” list, she is a beautiful Moroccan teenage girl. In a divine appointment earlier that week we met on the street corner while I was taking out the trash. She followed me home and we sat and had tea. She didn’t speak much English, so we used google translate and stared at each other. I felt certain that God sent her to be cared for and taught about this Jesus person I love so much.
She began coming over to our apartment whenever she was free from school, drawn to our home like friends joining around a fireplace in the middle of winter.
However on this day, I was desperate for rest, AND ON THIS DAY she was attached to my hip.

Classic.

Let me add that finding things to talk about with new people is difficult for me in English, add into the equation a foreign language and a shy girl that keeps her answers short, you get a bit of a nightmare.
I kept thinking “you’ve got this Emily, just push through. It’s almost over.”
“Just a little bit more, then you can sleep.”
We watch a movie together, eat snacks, and take pictures on Snapchat. I’m trying to hurry her out the door when she asks “will you straighten my hair?” I reluctantly agree and gently begin brushing her hair, carefully putting a hot iron through it. As I try my best to style it, she begins to cry.
I ask if I’m hurting her. She says, “I am hurting…but it’s not my hair, I’m sorry for crying.” I tell her she never has to apologize for showing her emotions, it is ok to cry. She begins opening up about her home situation, her struggles, her sadness…
My heart sinks as I begin to realize why she seeks refuge so often in our home, and my palms begin to sweat as the anger rises up.
And in this moment God whispers, “kindness is never a chore for me.”

In our human understanding of kindness, it is defined as the quality of being friendly, generous and considerate. We often equate it to sacrifice. Sacrificing your time, your stuff, your needs.
Putting in special effort to go out of your way to care for someone.

What is kindness? It’s certainly not me.

Kindness is I AM.

“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” (John 10:11)

“I am the light of the world. The one who follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” (John 8:12)

“I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live even if he dies.” (John 11:25)

Oh man, it just blows my mind. Kindness is simply WHO GOD IS. He does it effortlessly, abundantly, relentlessly, continuously, without ceasing, without expectations, without fail.
He separated Himself from His father, the one He loved the most, FOR US. He humbled Himself by living among us and degraded Himself by being trapped in our form. He suffered anger and betrayal and hatred, FOR US. He got down on the floor and washed the feet of Judas, knowing he would sell him that night to be crucified..his own friend!!
And when humanity turned its back on Him and walked away? He said “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.” Luke 23:34

I don’t possess a single trickle of that kindness in my human body. Not even a little bit. However, in spite of my limitations and sinful nature, Holy Spirit lives inside of me…and it is HIS kindness that people see.

I was reminded that God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9), and even when everything in me is going through the motions, the supernatural love of Christ shines brightly. Another humble lesson that there is absolutely nothing I possess to bring people to Him, I can only be an open vessel, a tool to be used to serve His Sovereign Purpose.
Despite my fatigue and annoyance, Duaa and I enjoyed an intimate conversation about Jesus. We talked about the love that He has for her and the freedom He offers if she will believe in Him as her savior. We enjoyed dinner afterwards and while walking home she writes to me, “you are an ideal sister, I love you.”

And I just wanted a nap.

Let Him use you, even in your weakest moments, His light will shine through. It can take one simple act of kindness to bring someone into the overwhelming love of Jesus Christ…just remember, kindness has nothing to do with us.

Kindness can only be described as I AM.

Hosea 11:1-4 God’s Love for Israel

“When Israel was a child, I loved him, and out of Egypt I called my son. But the more they were called, the more they went away from me. They sacrificed to the Baals and they burned incense to images. It was I who taught Ephraim to walk, taking them by the arms; but they did not realize it was I who healed them. I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love. To them I was like one who lifts a little child to the cheek, and I bent down to feed them.”